We all felt it: a small murmur of grief (or maybe it has become a bit of a depression) appears after time has passed through our social media sources. What you want to call – envy, jealousy, FOMO—But it is certainly the result of often stopping the game of comparison. Someone else can create tons of Instagram likes, (not so) modest to be proud of getting a great opportunity or to work with a new job that you would really like. These launchers are constantly at our fingertips, and allow us to immerse ourselves in the game of comparison with our iPhone movement. Sometimes we all want to feel the disconnection we want to feel and between the life we have. really they. And it is very easy to create a facade Life is “perfect” on social media, we can easily find it in a state of constant capture, from the outside it seems to have it all.
As a blogger, my career is often completely rooted in the online world, and social media is an indivisible part of my work day. It really isn’t an option for me to delete my Instagram account, not even the one I wanted! I think it can be an amazing tool to keep a visual record of our days, to find positive ways to improve our well-being, to keep up with family and friends, and to share moments that I find inspiring. So the question is: if we want to use social media on a daily basis and interact with them, how can we deal with the feeling of grief that a run in the “wonderful” lives of all the people in our feed can help?
Here are some practices that have worked for me to avoid playing in the comparison game.
Be focused on others.
Instagram is usually a bright happy world where people only post moments (and costumes, meals, parties, and destinations) they want people to see (edited and filtered perfectly.) There is nothing wrong with conveying a commercial flow of things that inspire us, as long as we don’t forget that it’s really another 99.9% of our lives real life. If I find myself looking at the amount of “likes” I’m getting, I probably mean it’s time to get out of me and connect with other people, love my family and friends, and set people and my vision as important things in my life. Because true love exceeds one million “likes” any day of the week.
Be supportive, never jealous.
In this fast-paced world of blogs and social media, can we please find a way to be in the same group and help each other? Instead of allowing the victories of our friends (or “competitors”) to feel the threats, how can we turn our perspective into an impetus and inspiration for us? It’s not like the amount of success in the world can be exhausted as if it were a bank account. There are many around, and the success of our friend in no way detracts from our present or future victories. Believe me: when you can be happy and supportive of the achievements of others, you feel a thousand times better than if you let jealousy lift its ugly head.
One of my good friends Ashley Woodson Bailey he recently changed his career as a flower designer to a fine art photographer, inspired by trying to capture the constant metamorphosis of a flower as a moment in time. She does it on her own terms with her favorite medium (flowers) and his iPhone. Ashley told me that since she had given herself the freedom to immerse herself in her passion, she was finally able to overcome the cycle of competition she felt at first. She has learned to appreciate the beauty around her. Instead of constantly feeling the need to “move forward,” he is learning to let go real essential things, such as sharing the art and beauty that excites people, become its basis for success. Just remember: a quick photo on social media (and how others respond to it) has nothing to do with the real value we have in the world.
Learn to set boundaries.
Do you have any “triggers” that spark the start of the comparison game? Find out when they happen, and be on the lookout for prevention. Maybe it means turning off your phone at a certain time in the evening or not walking around your Instagram feed in the morning. You may be disconnected for the rest of the day for the holidays or on the weekend at home. So instead of thinking about how to catch up with your iPhone, you’re soaking everything up. And that seems like a dramatic step, meaning it’s just what the doctor ordered.
Remember: life is too short.
Don’t worry too much about what others think. You have a chance to live, and I promise most people are too caught up in their little worlds to worry too much about yours. Our culture applies the principle of time and money to every moment of the day and night, which leaves no room for rest, play, or so many other things that long for our bodies and souls. I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to be present in the real world to master the art (not virtual) unea.
I wanted to write this so that I could constantly remind myself so that I could share my thoughts on the subject and receive it all. In a world where our sense of value and purpose can be influenced by “likes,” “followers,” and other metrics that are pretty nonsensical at their core, it can be hard not to start feeling like the Internet is so popular that competition doesn’t start. One thing that helps me deal with any kind of jealousy is to remember that even though I try hard, I will always be someone prettier, smarter, more likable, clearer and better than everyone around me. I can look for anything, but they can’t be me.
The strength of each of our individual peculiarities is the only thing that no one else can match. No one can be as good as one of my versions when I think of being the best in my head. So get in touch with the world for what a wonderful gift you bring, and then offer to work on the things that light up on you and the ones that overwhelm you with energy and love.
This message was originally posted on September 26, 2018, and has been updated ever since.