Day One Everywhere: An Excerpt from Dave Egger’s New Novel

“I think so,” Kiki said. “but You are You should know – you are the ranger of the forest! “

Delaney giggled foolishly and thought she was going to suffocate. I tried to breathe.

“I almost forgot,” said Kiki. “Can you download something? Sent you an update for your phone.”

Delaney found the update and downloaded it. “I got you.”

“You’ve been using TruVoice, take it?”

Always, Delaney said.

TruVoice has been ruling a lot of online communications since Delaney was in high school. I simply started as a candidate. Anyone types or dictates text, and TruVoice scans the message for any OS elements – offensive, inappropriate, outrageous, uncolored, nonessential, outdated. Language O will be deleted or replaced, and the message will be sent in a manner suitable for future generations. looks like youTruVoice, considered by the vast majority of its users, numbering over 2 billion in 130 languages, promised it a godsend.

Kiki said, “Update is just based on that, but for verbal communication. Obviously we can’t change your words in real time, but now TruVoice analyzes what you say, gives you a summary of your word usage at the end of each day, and shows you where you can improve.”

“Wonderful!” Delaney said.

“It’s really He is Kiki said. “I have learned a lot about my own connection. I have a son. He is five years old. He is in school here. Did I ever tell you that?”

Delaney felt she was talking to someone quickly or cocaine. Was the water really in that burgundy bag? She rarely saw this kind of mania.

“And research says that kids need to hear a hundred thousand words by the time they are 3 years old. Something like that. So TruVoice helps me figure out the total number as well as the variety of words. I’m still at 65 percent in terms of variation and difficulty — it turns out that I A verbal doll, but now I know what I need to work on.”

“Wonderful!” Delaney said again, louder than before.

“Look, they’ll notice this repetition at the end of the day,” Kiki said. “You will not be punished or anything. It is just to help us do a better job.”

Delaney almost said Wonderful Again, just for its own fun. Instead she said, “Of course.”

“This almost wiped out my sabbatical, which was a problem previously,” Kiki said. “Same with focus and height. I tended to take a walk, TruVoice knows off the track…” Kiki paused. “What’s the word? This is so funny.”

“talk? meander? chat? Delaney suggested.

“Yes, thanks,” Kiki said. “It helps me get to the point. Early on, my direct scores were in the forties, but now they are higher in the fifties.”

Glory, Delaney said.

“Excuse me?” Kiki said.

“Oh. I just said Glory. “

Kiki clicked on her screen. “Oh. Glory. Like ‘Congratulations.’ I got you. That’s a level 3 word too. I’ll get extra points for that. Kudos. Kudos. Take a look.”

Kiki showed her phone to Delaney. A man passed between them in what appeared to be an Olympic swimmer’s uniform, his penis pointing from his limp to his left knee.

“sorry!” Kiki said, tapping her screen. “Look, this is my total words for the day so far: 3,691. That doesn’t count every contraction and simultaneity of course. On the second line, you can see it’s broken down by level. Today I spoke 2,928 Level 1 words, 678 Level 2 words, and 67 from level 3, nine words from level 4. That’s not great in terms of level 4. But that’s the core self-improvement part of the app. I can build on that. A growth mindset, right?”

“That’s my motto,” Delaney said.

“Good slogan!” Kiki said. “Glory!”

They shared a laugh. Delaney felt ill. She loved Kiki, Kiki felt it, she wanted to save Kiki, and she was lying to Kiki. How long can you lie on this frantic, frantic face? I pity her soul. Out of the corner of her eye, Delaney saw a pair of men in slalom gear, adorned with fake flames, having a conversation while squatting.

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